Holy shit Batman--it's been too long....

Wow, I can't even remember the last time I wrote on this blog.  Sad, but true.  So here are a few random things from my life right now to catch me up....

• It's the end of another school year....my baby boy will be a senior next year and Kate will be leaving to go down to Carbondale as a junior.  Feeling my age right now.
• Eric was back this year--his first as high school principal.  It was a lovely year for me....not as much drinking because he keeps me relatively calm....but a rough one for the staff since they were used to no guidance whatsoever and didn't adjust well to change.
• New building is coming along nicely.  We moved out of our office the last day of finals (5/20/15) and into the guidance office for the summer.  New classrooms and office will be done mid-August--cross your fingers.
• One Little word for this year is Calm.....still struggling with it as anyone who knows me well knows that I am always wound up about something.
• Our oldest nephew,Jacob, was married this month, and his sister Meghan graduated from High School.
• Zach's basketball coach retired and they are on the hunt for a new one--I'm more than excited to find out who it will be.
• Zach has his first job this summer--helping the school district clean out the schools--moving boxes and furniture and whatever else they might need.  It's hard work.  7-3 every day.....He has to be up--haha.
• I'm done with work on June 4.....summer will be a long one.  Since the school is not getting turned over to us until about when we normally do registration we are postponing starting school until the day after Labor Day....September 8.  It will be a shock to all our systems....but make for a really long summer.  (My to do list awaits)
• We have 3 more weddings this summer and 2 basketball shoot outs.  Doug is taking the kids and some friends to Cedar Point sometime in July....and I am going to stay at home---ALL BY MYSELF! My kind of vacation.
• Salli and Scott are building a house here in Macon.  They will be moved in before school starts. 
• The whole lower level of our house has been repainted a color called "Stonington"--a nice beige.  It's beginning to come together nicely.  It really lightened and brightened everything up.  We changed out curtains and bought a few new pieces.  I'm very happy with it.  

Holy Smokes...It's been awhile

November was the last time I wrote here....Oh my.  A lot has happened since November.

• I made it through the school year...by the skin of my teeth.  As of Tuesday I was done for the summer.
• Zach did not play baseball this year.  Bummer for me--but exciting for him and Doug.
• I lost 19 pounds by doing something called Metabolism Miracle after the first of the year, only to fall off the wagon and gain 5 of it back because...hell, I don't know why.
• We are doing a vacation this year...a beach one and Kate and I can't be more excited about it.  Zach on the other hand....
• Summer basketball has started and Zach has done okay on Varsity....11 points in 2 games...Not his best but he needs to learn how to keep up with the big boys.
• Speaking of big boys, he has his license now...since March and I am just starting to get over the nervousness.
• Kate finished her first year at Richland and just started her summer job back up at the Collector's office.  
• We've been hanging out with a great group from the high school. A History teacher and his wife, the Guidance Counselor and her husband, a Science teacher and a Math Teacher along with my pal, Jody and her husband.  It's amazing how our friendships keep evolving.  This group is laid back, funny and cares a lot for each other. We always laugh with each other...my face and stomach hurts from smiling and laughing so much.
• I have mixed emotions about Jack retiring.  I am ready for him to go (June 30th is his last day) and I will be sad when he leaves also.  He's a great man and friend---boss not so much--well to me he was great, but to those who needed guidance/leadership--not so much.
•  I'm really looking forward to next year with Eric at the helm.  It will be a difficult transition year, but I know he will do a great job. I have faith in him.  I just hope I can get myself together and be more professional so I don't make him look bad.  I didn't care about that with Jack...what does that say about me.  Not much.  UGH.
• I am almost 44--will be in 3 months.  WOW.....I don't get as upset every year on my birthday anymore.  It is what it is. Me whining about it isn't going to change it.
• I've settled into a sort of "routine" with my parents and sister.  I see them at holidays and birthdays and occasionally text or email them...and I am okay with that.  I'm to the point where I don't want the hassles or to do the work it entails to get along all the time with them.  It's really sad to think about it, because if it were my kids it would tear me up for them not to talk to me or see me....but then again the relationships are different.  Always have been....I did it on purpose...created the kind of family I wished I had always had.  

It's been almost 5 months...

Holy cow...how does that happen.  I was just sitting here reading blogs and realized how much I miss writing.  I miss mind dumping everything here every once in a while.  So without further ado...here are 10 random things about life right now.

1.  Weather has been crazy lately...no real fall this year...which sucks for me...since that is my favorite season.  Last week only about half the leaves were down when it snowed.  Holy smokes...snow...not ready yet.

2.  Have the itch to clean everything...we are talking wash all decor and curtains and blankets and woodwork. Need to embrace it and everything can be clean before the holidays.

3.  Still struggling with the whole work thing.  I am really missing Eric and his level head.  I'm ready for Jack to go.  I am finding myself not caring more and more and I hate that. 

4.  Basketball is about to start.  My boy needs to step it up this year...more kids act like they want it more than he does.  He may be a good shot, but if he doesn't show the coaches that he wants it he probably won't play. 

5.  I'm almost done Christmas shopping for my kids.  November 18th baby...mark it down....and I stuck to my budget for them this year.  Another feat for me.

6.  Not getting enough alone time...I wish we were rich and we had a little weekend getaway that I could sneak down to.  A book and some music and no one else.  Freaking heaven.

7.  Haven't had a routine at home lately.  Stepping back and letting others take over the stuff that drives me crazy.  I don't know if it's working but I am less stressed.  Whatever it takes.

8.  I don't really want anything for Christmas this year.  Oh, I'll take a level head and some will power but that's not easily found....

9.  Trying not to think about my weight for once in my life. I do better when I feel my pants getting tighter--I lay off the junk until I can breathe again.  I still binge though--donuts anyone?  I'm doing better though and not going to worry about it for a little bit longer. 

10.  I want to paint our whole living area and hallways.  But I want to go lighter and can't find the right shade of gold. It will be a slight change but lately I've found my style and just need to tweak things here and there.  Can you say the same comforter for the last 6 years????  It's a miracle--problem is that it is about worn out and I can't part with it because I love the look. 

June Randomness...

• Yesterday was my last day of work until August.  As much as I struggled this year I know I will miss the guys in the office.  I'll have to sneak over there every few weeks and get my fix.
• Bridal shower this weekend and then a wedding next weekend--which is going to be a kid free weekend for Doug and I.  So looking forward to that.
• Kate graduated last month.  Still have to keep repeating that to myself.  It will hit home next school year when I go back to work and she isn't there.
• The State of Illinois finally came through with Meridian's money.  That means the classrooms and rest of the school will get built.  Hope to be in by Christmas 2014.  Holy cow...that isn't very far away.
• Had our house appraised this week--hoping to do some cosmetic changes--roof and siding.
• Went out for supper and bitching with my BFF last night.  Love doing that.
• Kids are going with Doug to Six Flags on Saturday while I go to bridal shower.  A whole day to myself--with only a couple of hours planned--what to do--what to do.

I'm still struggling...

Having a rough time this year with coming to grip with the fact that people do not think I lead a life outside of work.  They call me at home to ask me questions about school...those who had my cell phone text me at all hours to ask questions about school...and today a friend from church called my mother in law to get my cell number (hmmm...mostly mad because she called Darlene I think) to talk to me about school---after she had already spoken to me twice at work.  People, I have a life and it doesn't revolve around school. I started not answering at home, not texting back and unfortunately tonight pretending that I didn't have my phone with me.  Maybe that is one of the reasons we went ahead and got rid of our home phone--not to mention the cost. 

Going to have to make some more hard choices for next year...my assistant principal is moving to the grade school to be principal and that means some changes in the office for next year.  I'm going to have to let a lot of stuff go by the wayside (stuff that he would normally do) because it isn't my job.  I'm going to have to just do my stuff and not worry about other stuff.  I'm going to remind the principal twice about stuff and then it is out of my hands.  I'm going to be more selective with my friendships at school and who I confide in.  I'm tired of the bitching and complaining coming from some of the staff and I am distancing myself from that.  I am trying to save my sanity--not to mention Doug's and the kids'.  I'm tired of taking frustrations out on them.  I'm going to try to leave my frustrations at work.  I am buying a notebook and dumping it all in there before I leave for the day. 

I'm tired of being a negative Nellie all the time.  How I wish I was a glass half full person.  Trying to think good thoughts and read good uplifting stuff...but sometimes the whininess and pettiness and lack of consideration and respect of some people just really burn my butt.  Sometimes I wish I didn't care so much--wish I could just go to work and be a robot--answer the phone in a monotone voice and handle everything all day long with no emotion.  Parents wouldn't bother me, teachers wouldn't bother me and neither would other staff members.  The kids are the least of my worries most time--its the adults who don't know any better.

This week is my bitch week and I can feel myself being awful to everyone.  I just can't seem to help it.  The little things just really bug me this week....random repetitious noises, dishes that don't get done, socks that miss the basket, toothpaste that doesn't get washed down the sink, cans that don't get crushed, bread ties that don't make it to the garbage can, empty toilet paper rolls that stay on the holder for days, empty hangers that never make it down to the laundry area, full baskets of clean clothes that never get put away--only rifled through and messed up, dogs that don't get let out when they have to go, hitting snooze on the alarm more than 2 or 3 times, papers that never get put away and are left on the table for days, baseball--basketball and other sports crap that get left in places that they don't belong in, my car never getting cleaned out--empty soda cans, wrappers and lunchboxes that get left in there, always having to say no when someone asks to spend money, always being the only one that wants to pay off our bills, always having to come up with a menu, shop for said menu and then cook same menu, never getting a thank you for doing the stuff I do everyday that no one even notices--clean clothes--mostly, and last but not least never getting enough alone time for me.   It seems that every time I try to steal a moment or two someone comes in and talks to me.

OK I am done venting....

Complete Randomness...

• Still doing great with my daily to do lists.  Need to go ahead and laminate them because they are good to go...don't need to change anything.  I love being able to see the top of my dining room table and love that I am not overwhelmed on the weekends.
• Spent 6+ hours last Friday with my BFF and a few others at a Scrapbooking Crop where I got a ton done--not that I got everything done like I wanted (I forgot to take some stuff--ok that is a lie--I didn't even know where some of the stuff was)but I am organized and I have a plan.  Not only is Kate's stuff organized and finished up until 8th grade...but Zach's is done until 6th.  That is 2 more for Kate than I previously had done and 4 more for Zach.  I will be starting high school for both of them.  Just need to get some pictures developed and I will be ready for the next crop in April.
• Loved getting together like old times with Dawn--took me back in time a little.  And no interruptions--no going to get kids at pre-school.  Ha.  That's how long it has been since we have done this...Her youngest was in preschool.  Yikes
• Spent 3+ hours on Sunday up in my scrap area....cleaning everything--touching everything--looking for those darn items that were previously missing from Kate's stash of school stuff.  Found all of that and more.  Next time we go to crop I can grab a bin and have all of the kids school stuff.  Put all the random stuff in another bin...nieces and nephews, Christmas cards and random bits of vacation stuff that will go with pictures in my next vacation album.
• Need to order more page protectors and high school binders.
• I am seriously contemplating hiring someone to come in and deep clean our house before graduation.  Now to convince Doug--if nothing else I want a window washer and someone to come in and shampoo our couch and living room rug.
• Started going to Dave Ramsey classes two weeks ago.  I'm not going to lie...this will be hard for me.  Shopping is my go to form of therapy.  I find it painful not to buy something at least once a week.  UGH.  Willpower here I come.
• Took today off and besides getting my nails done I did absolutely nothing.  Felt good to lie around all day on the couch. 

My weekly chores

I have been struggling for awhile on staying on top of my house work.  Going back to work full time almost 3 years ago has been good for me but bad for my organization and cleaning habits.  This year I am determined to stay on top of everything which will make my life easier and me happier. I sat down and thought of everything I would like to get done in a week and then divided it up by days and put each day on their own separate index card.  I keep them on/in my nightstand to remind me of what I need to accomplish each day.

Here is my schedule (this is still a work in process since I have only been doing it for a little over 3 weeks--I added something today that I had forgotten.  Once I have it down pat I will be laminating my index cards for each day)

Sunday:
clean bathroom
put my laundry away
make sure kids have put all their shoes and laundry away
straighten up kitchen
make sure garbage is taken out
water inside plants (added this one today)

check my calendar--plan week out on fridge weekly dry erase calendar
plan my wardrobe for whole week--hang at front of my closet including jewelry or scarves
plan menu for week
Cook Sunday dinner

Monday:
clean off dining room table
clean out 1 drawer
straighten desk and office
organize something

Tuesday:
do laundry--at least one load of darks, lights and whites
clean fridge and microwave
straighten dining room--dust
file any papers that need it

go to library

Wednesday:
fruit shopping/run errands
straighten den and porch
make sure kids put all their shoes away

Thursday:
do laundry--at least one load of darks, lights, and whites
straighten master bedroom--dust
do 1 or 2 things from my to do list (list on small memo pad I add to as I think of things--on fridge)
clean off dining room table

clean out purse
clean contacts

Friday:
balance checkbook--pay bills every other week
straighten living room--dust
wash rugs, blankets or pillows if necessary
attend MHS games
out to eat or have Doug bring food home

Saturday:
have kids do chores of my choice
vacuum whole house
run errands with Doug
out to eat
wash sweaters or hand washable clothes

So far this has worked out wonderfully for me.  My dining room table has been relatively clean since I started this.  It never was before--it was always piled with all kinds of stuff.  Every day only takes me an hour or hour and half at most to do.  And if someone helps me it takes less time.  Some days I break it up and sometimes I tackle everything all at once.  I feel great about my house and about myself for having accomplished something every day.

Stay tuned for more about my to do list and a monthly chore list I am making for deep cleaning the whole house.

Struggling...

I find myself struggling with my friendships now.  It's like people don't understand what it means to be a friend.  2 instances recently that have opened my eyes and made me question if these women are really my friends.

Instance #1:  Friend's son is a student where I work. He got "jumped" in the school parking lot after school by a non-student on Thursday.  After school got out--but the office did not find out about it until an hour or more later.  He was the winner of the "fight".  Administration called her son down the next morning to talk about it and he had not told her about it yet.  He asked to be the first to tell her and the principal--being a nice guy--said that was fine.  This was Friday and principal was going to see her at a game on Saturday so he agreed to it.  He was not in any way in trouble....police were called by us to talk to non-student and tell him not to come on school property for any reason.  No consequences at all for defending himself from non-student. 

I am sitting in line at car wash with Doug and I get a phone call from my friend.  She is basically mad at me because I didn't call and give her a heads up about the whole thing.  Not my job lady!  Her son had never told her, so she looked like a fool when Principal talked to her at game.  She was embarrassed and upset that she didn't know about it.  Here's the kicker...she wasn't really mad at her son but at me because I should have given her a heads up.  I said it happened Thursday...didn't he look like he had been in a fight????  I knew he had been knocked down in the gravel parking lot and that he had to be pulled off the kid--landing punches before that.   She said no she hadn't noticed anything.  He had been in her room "pacing" on Friday night but he never said anything.  (Wake up lady--he was trying to tell you something--use your freaking words and talk to your kid).

We have dinner with her and boyfriend Saturday night where she proceeds to tell me that his knuckles are all scabbed up and so are her knees.  Boyfriend is pissed at school and going off on our administration.  Look...we are supposed to be out having dinner and good conversation and now I am at the point where I don't want anything to do with them.  (these are the same parents that call and ask Doug and I all the time when practices are because he never tells them--ASK!). 

Been struggling with whether or not Doug and I are being good parents and this reinforced that even though we aren't doing everything right at least we are talking to our kids more than once a day. 

Instance #2:  Zach's friend was asked earlier in season to play up from Freshmen basketball to JV basketball.  He kept bragging to Zach about it which really pissed me off and hurt Zach's feelings.  Well, he didn't perform as well as he should have so they told him to go back down to only playing freshman ball.  Fast forward to last weekend.  JV coach had to coach Zach's freshman team because our coach was kicked out of a game and had to serve a 1 game suspension.  He coached the boys--who played a really good game--they didn't win, but gave it their all.  Next day we had another game scheduled before JV and Varsity. JV coach went to a few (4) of the freshmen kids and asked it they would want to practice and dress for JV for the next game.  Her son did not get asked.  She started posting vague shit on Facebook.  Vague shit that wasn't so vague...if you know what I mean.  So Friday night they got asked to dress again...this time since we were getting beat badly, he put those 4 boys in.  Zach had 3 points.  I sat on the other side of the gym with other staff members and I could see her whispering to another parent all during the game. 

She made an appointment to come speak to the JV coach this afternoon to see why her son was not being asked to play.  First of all,  this isn't YMCA ball anymore---parents should not be involved--if your son wants to know why he isn't playing he should go to the coach to ask--the parent should not. Instead of asking what her son could do she threw all of our kids under the bus.  She said her son was better than all of ours basically and he deserved to play over all of them...WTF...did I do that when her son was asked and was playing before.  NO....and I am freaking friends with the coach....I work with him every day.  Now granted, I should not know what was said in that meeting, but since it happened in my office I heard.  But I am really disappointed in her.  When her son was playing over Zach I wasn't mad at her son for playing...I was mad that he was bragging, but I was happy that he was getting the experience. To say one or two of them didn't deserve it makes sense, but all 4 of them give me a break.  Also the only one who plays his same position is Zach.   UGH...let's cheer for the whole team--not just our own kids.  I am genuinely happy for all the kids when they have a good game, make a good play or hustle.  I yell for them all in a positive way--but I am starting to see that not every parent is like that.  They are only concerned for their own child and to hell with the rest of them which is very sad in my opinion.  One kid does not make a team---Basketball takes 5 kids to make a team.  And NONE of our kids are going to go on and play NBA or even college ball.  GET OVER YOURSELF!!!

Hoping nothing else happens with my friends this week....maybe I should crawl in a hole and hide from them all. 

My goals for 2013

I only have 6 things on my "to do" list for 2013...and none of them are un-doable--they aren't even very hard.  3 of them even involve decor. 

• be fit enough to walk the hardest trail at Turkey Run State Park without thinking I am going to die.
• Go on at least one weekend getaway with Doug possibly 2.
• take a family vacation--a memorable one.
• go to the Third Sunday Market at least 2 times this year.
• Find an entertainment stand for the new TV we hope to get in the living room in the next year or 2.  It needs to have some drawers for DVDs and other storage and it has to have CHIPPY PAINT.
• Take down the bowl shelf in my kitchen and find something else to put there.

So there they are--not hard and nothing to do with my freaking weight which has been on my list every year since college.  It's good to unchain that goal from my leg...not that I don't want to lose weight...I just don't want to say it again and then do nothing about it.  That's why the fit thing is the very first thing on my list.  If I am fit...it goes to say that some of this weight is going to come off. 

One Little Word 2013

I spent a lot of time trying to deny my word for this year.  You know...sometimes you just don't want to hear what it has to say.  But in the end I keep coming back to it.  It's a little vague, but that's good because I have interpreted it in a bunch of different ways.

My word is GRACE.
And here is the definition:

Main Entry:	grace [greys] /greɪs/
Part of Speech:	noun
Definition:	charm, loveliness
Synonyms:	address, adroitness, agility, allure, attractiveness, balance, beauty, breeding, comeliness, consideration, cultivation, decency, decorum, dexterity, dignity, ease, elegance, etiquette, finesse, finish, form, gracefulness, lissomeness, lithesomeness, mannerliness, manners, nimbleness, pleasantness, pliancy, poise, polish, propriety, refinement, shapeliness, smoothness, style, suppleness, symmetry, tact, tastefulness

I have highlighted the synonyms that I want to try to be this year. 

For years I have been lewd and crude--and I have been okay with it.  My favorite word for the last few years has been fuck.  I say it loudly and often.  But lately....I think that maybe....I need to grow up and learn to express myself in a more adult and professional way.  I don't want my kids to look back and think that all I did was say fuck.  I want them to look back and say that I was collected, professional, warm and full of grace. 

So that is my word. 

Stay tuned for my 6 goals/resolutions for 2013.

Random Thursday

A few random things in my life right now...

• One of my young co-workers has followed her heart to move to Wisconsin with her man.  That leaves me only one other young one to hang around with. I am really going to miss giving her "mom" advice and being like a big sis to her.
• I am having lots of anxiety thinking that I am going to have a senior and a freshman.  And my freshman is participating in basketball open gyms---my boss is one of the coaches.  I really want Zach to be coached by him...but hope Zach continues to give basketball his all.
• Went to the grocery store by myself tonight and spent a lot of time in the car contemplating life right now.  Am I where I want to be...you know...did I think I was going to be in this place @ 41. Have I met my personal goals and lofty family ideals?  Hmmm...going to have to think on this one.
• Missing my best girl friend...wishing we still had Tuesdays to get together...loved getting together almost every week with her and being crafty...damn kids! ha.
• Been busy looking for a car for Kate...ahhh the joys of having a teen driver. Good thing I live across the street from work.
• Just came across a awesome sale at one of my favorite clothing stores....3 work shirts, a cami, and 2 pairs of dress pants---$80.00.  WTF...I love a 60% off sale. I'm set for work in the fall.
• 2 days of work left. Glad to be done this year.  Anticipating the stuff I want to get done.  Where to start though?  I'm thinking the stuff I need to do but don't want to.  UGH...time to eat my frogs.
• Am really not liking all my animal hair right now.  What I really need to do is vacuum every day--so not on my fun list. 
• My son has a freaking pig sty of a room...I hate it...clothes everywhere...who knows it they are dirty or clean. I wish there were just one more freak like me living here. 
• Zach's girlfriend of one year broke up with him...I really like her...she was a good girl....here's hoping that he didn't say or do something mean to her.  I really want him to show respect to women even if they trample on his heart.  I think he really liked her and was shocked that she broke up. 
• Kate's new job is going well....she is over the "I don't want to spend all of my summer working"...thank goodness...not going to have a lazy ass living here...most of that attitude was nerves I think...not knowing what to expect or if she was going to do okay. 
• Doug and I are planning a small vacation---weekend one for the middle to end of June.  Want to take the kids to Holiday World.  It will be nice to just get away for a while.  Also going to try to take the train up to Chicago before school starts again. 

I'm in a funk...

Can't seem to crawl out of it.  Nothing bad is happening...normal life around here.  Normal baseball games, normal ACT testing, normal Spring flowers blooming, normal ice cream cravings, normal jobs and bills and house and pets and...NORMAL.  Why am I so down?

Today I had to leave the office and get out (My boss suggested it--taking a little break)to get away from the chaos that is sometimes my job.The phone never stops ringing....the kitchen staff never has a day without drama...the parents are relentless in their complaints/worries/demands.  I will never make it the twenty five years that my predecessor did.  NEVER.  I'll be lucky to make it the fifteen I need to be vested in my pension.  There are days that I don't know if I will even make it through.  Today was one of them. 

And bless the teachers--it was secretary's day--and I got 3 gift cards to restaurants and a lovely lily and a rockin' mug from the principal.  I'd hate to think of how my day would have been if not for those cool thoughtful things. 

So I am sitting here at this computer, trying to talk myself out of opening a wine cooler--sipping on a bottle of water all the while craving a real drink.  Drowning my day with alcohol...bring it on.  Ha ha. 

This weekend is prom.  Kate is ready.  Doug and I are ready to work the post-prom game room.  Bring that on.

Also at this moment Doug, Zach and Kate are out test driving a VW beetle.  We are about to become a 3 car family.  Holy crap!  My babies just keep getting older and older.  Milestones keep coming and coming.   Bring that on too.

Needing a little get away I think.  Time to talk to the hubby about getting away just the 2 of us for a little r & r and just us time.  Sometimes we just need a little recharging and I think that is what is up with me.

Glad I could come here to this place and figure it out.

I'm thankful for....

• Beautiful weather
• the sun
• going to breakfast on Sunday mornings with my husband
• my Sunday school class
• old friends
• Land's end
• sandals
• pedicures
• knowing I am exactly where I am supposed to be at this point of my life.
• God
• Music
• Flowers
• how well my kids "think" and "do"--Doug and I must be doing something right.
• new friends
• magazines
• my animals--even though I had to clean up puke from one of them today.
• my bosses

I'm a glass half empty kind of gal--but I'm trying to be better.

It's almost over...

I can't believe the school year is almost over. I read on Facebook that there is only 5 more MOndays. I checked--it's true. OMG. I'm not ready. I don't have the awards ordered or the diplomas either. I've got to get it in gear. I'm going to be putting in some extra hours I think.

Baseball is in full swing. This week we start the Chatham league on Wednesdays. Plus we have double headers on Friday and Saturday.

Today the kids and I were off--I've been sitting around thinking about some of the stuff I want to get done this summer. I need to get the ideas down somewhere so I guess here is as good as anywhere--at least I will be able to find it when I go to get started. Ha.

Closets
Linen--shelves covered--back painted.
My--shelves covered---shoe storage rethought--add extra shelf at top. Blackboard paint in one of the inside panels--to get list?
Paper--Shelves covered--back painted--reorganize (maybe add fixed shelves to bottom portion)papers filed, magazine holder painted. Black board paint on inside panel.
Built in cabinet in pantry--shelves covered. Reorganized. Aired out.
Spare room--cleaned out. painted. add fixed shelving to side. go through clothes. Divide top shelf into 2--go up.
Coat closet by side door--re do shoe storage. Hang extra coats in hall closet (after gone through) up stairs. install shelving for "stuff". Line with hooks.
Junk--go through again. Reorganize.

Porch
Paint "Welcome to our" on the porch sign.
Buy 3 pots for red tool box--plant ivy in them.
New cushions for table chairs?
Buy material to recover pillows from England's wicker. Indoor/outdoor fabric.
Long Concrete planters for porch "steps".
"urns" for either side of door--concrete.

Yard
Concrete or painted bird bath
Gate up
Haul in dirt for around house
Order landscaping stones and river rock.
Hang lights around inside of porch.
Fix plant hook.
Wash all wicker and wrought iron.
Major trim up on most of the bushes--especially HOlly.
Pull up corner evergreen on South front corner and plant red bush.

Scrapbooking/Crafts
Kate's school book up to date. Ready for senior year. Try to decide on what to do for that--separate book--for each day? By month?
Cut fabrics for her quilt into 4" squares.
Once Kate's are up to date--work on Zach's school and sports.
Do at least 12 layouts for family scrapbook.
Make curtain for scrapbook desk.
Make pillows for couch upstairs.
Make pillows for dining room wicker.


Misc.
Shampoo dining room rugs.
Find chairs for den desk and for upstairs craft area.
Picture wall in den (convince Doug that we need a shelf over desk)
Kitchen bowl shelf down...come up with other idea for that area.
Re-do attic storage--buy more wire shelving to organize christmas. Floor in eaves for toy storage?
Glass for linen and kitchen storage cabinets (before graduation.)
Fix glass in den bookshelf. (before graduation)
Fix door in hutch that won't stay shut. Buy latch?


Back Entry:
Paint wainscotting
Paint upper walls something lighter and brighter.
New runner rug.
New curtain or something.
Curtain going down to basement--Something like what's in den--linen.

Gosh...don't think I can get all that done before summer is over. Holy moly....might be a before Kate graduates list.

It's been awhile.....

Haven't posted in a long time. Things are going pretty smoothly around here which is pretty amazing. I finally quit Weight Watchers--after a whole year I am only down 12 pounds. Not too bad, but nothing that I am that proud of. A friend and I started walking after work Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays and once we did a little cardio and weight training with the PE teacher at work. I'm liking the walking thing...need to get back on the eating right thing.

I told my friend yesterday--we are both big girls--she just happens to be almost 7 inches taller than me--my problem is I really don't "see" myself as fat. Now don't get me wrong I am fat...60 pounds over weight (at least) but the only time I have issues is when I am trying on clothes or in my swimsuit...the rest of the time I feel normal sized. When I dream...I am skinny in my dreams. Lately I have issues with my stomach sticking out--and when I see myself in pictures I don't like it, but on an every day basis I am happy. So....why in the world am I obsessed with the weight thing? And why on earth can't I get a handle on it.

I've thrown around the whole "I'm filling myself up with something I am missing in my life, my past, my childhood, fill in the blank", but anymore I'm not sure that is it. I'm very happy with my marriage, my children and my job. Our finances are stabilizing...I live in my dream home...I want for nothing (well that 640 million would have been nice...) so what exactly is my issue.

I'm going to be analyzing and reflecting a lot this summer--before my birthday in September I would really like to figure out a plan. Not only a personal one...but a professional one. I'm going to be trying to figure out who I am and what I am doing with my life...do I want to lose weight, if I do how much, what I want to do with my paycheck--save it, pay off bills, pay for Kate's college, what I want to be as a wife, mother, friend and co-worker. I would like to talk Doug into doing the Dave Ramsey thing and getting ourselves out of debt. I want to have the $950 we pay to bills every month to go into savings or a vacation club or into a house improvement fund.

I need to figure it all out...be in control by the time I am 50---figure out how to save for our retirements---I will need the beach a lot when I am old you know...enjoy life without worrying about money for the rest of my freaking life. And if I figure out the weight thing along the way so much the better.

Here's to figuring it all out.

Random thoughts...

Every time I hear the National Anthem at a ball game I always sing every word of that song in my head to myself. I put my hand over my heart and really think about how good we have it here in the USA. Every single time.

I wonder whatever happened to expectations, standards and morals. Meaning what ever happened to parents who taught their kids the above things. Someone was talking the other day about rewarding their kids when they got a good report card. Growing up my parents expected As--didn't always get them--in fact I was a B kind of girl...but I knew they expected good grades. And as a parent myself I never give my kids more than a "good job--keep up the good work". If we pay/reward them for good work--they will come to expect that in my opinion. I see students every day who have no concept of working hard for something for the sake of pride. Most of them have no pride/ feeling of self worth whatsoever because they are doing stuff to be rewarded by their parents not because they want to do well for themselves. The more we give the more they want. And I'm not saying that my kids aren't spoiled--because frankly they are, but they don't get money for their report cards, they get allowance for helping with family chores which they use to buy stuff for themselves and they don't get everything they want everytime they ask us for something.

ADM is getting rid of 1000 employees. In the corporate area...that means Doug may be affected. OMG--I finally have my dream house and my dream job---what if we have to move? THen we move--no questions asked--because family comes first and we go where he goes. I can't believe how after 21 years how completely in love I still am with this man. I would follow him anywhere because he is my better half. I've been with him over half my life now--and can't wait for the rest of it with him.

My daughter is so normal and level headed at 16. Wish I was like that back when I was her age. My God, she is going to be the most unbelievable mother and wife and friend.

My son is so freaking funny and trying both at the same time. He pushes me to the limit every day and I see so much of my bull headed self in him. It will be a miracle if we don't end up at each other's throat before he leaves for college. I can't wait to see where he will end up in life. I don't see how he can be so organized with certain things and such a mess in others.

It's hard to believe that this year I will be 42. Holy crap--time is flying fast and most days I just want it to slow down so I can savor it all.

One little word...

I thought and thought and thought on this one. Here was my initial brainstorm:

• honesty


• discipline


• light


• less


• chill


• thoughtful


• change


• freedom


• simple


• relax


• reflection


• order


• reduce *


• transform *


• consider *


• confident


• genuine


• prepare **


• mindful **


• aware


• sincere


• true


• intentional **


• reduce


• control

The one * words are words I initially pondered. Then I looked up other words similar to them in the thesaurus and found the ones that have two *. Those were the ones that were in my final brainstorm and those were the ones I was going to have to decide between. I went to Ali Edwards' blog to see what other people had chosen and the word ENOUGH jumped right out at me. I figured it spoke so loudly to me because it goes so well with the other words I have chosen in the past: 2010 was SIMPLIFY and 2011 was LESS. Enough is perfect for me.

This is what I wrote to my girlfriend when I emailed her about my choice this year.

ok…my one little word for this year is ENOUGH.

Enough spending mindlessly.

Enough eating indiscriminately.

Enough stuff.

Enough putting things off.

Enough putting up with crap.

Enough with the lazy ass person I call myself.

Enough saying that I want to know Him more.

Enough is enough---it’s time for action.

Another new year..

Resolutions:

• Lose 15# again this year by going to Weight Watchers weekly.


• Only shop for myself with my own spending money--not out of family budget


• Only buy 1 purse this year


• Get caught up on Kate's school album--you know she graduates next year right?


• Move more--@ least 15 minutes 5 times a week


• Be closer to God--I bought the one year Bible and I'm going to read before bed.


• Develop all my pictures from the last 2-3 years.

Simplified:

• Think things through


• Plan ahead


• Choose wisely


• Spend smartly


• Want Less


• Move more

Still to do in January:

1. Put away Christmas


2. Organize Paper closet


3. Clean out junk drawer


4. Figure out one little word


5. Find ways to organize bills, pay off debt, and manage paper clutter that lands on table.


6. organize freezers and clean out fridge


7. Linen closet organized

Learning to be grateful...

I'm finding myself lacking in the thankfulness department lately. Here's some random things I'm thankful for:

• Having friends who think your cards are good enough to want to give as gifts. Thanks Sue!


• A oral surgeon who prayed with us before we had Kate's wisdom teeth extracted. What an unusual but awesome thing for a doctor to do.


• Listening to that prayer and knowing that everything was in God's Hands.


• Being able to prepare the Thanksgiving meal for this year with only one or two minor melt downs from the chef.


• Friends visiting from Alabama! Wishing they were here to stay but understanding that they have to go back.


• Diet Pepsi


• Ikea


• A husband willing to go to Prairie Gardens to look for Decor with me.


• The anticipation of getting out my ornament collection. I can hardly stand it.


• Christmas music--any of it really, but I heart the old stuff the best--Andy Williams anyone?


• 2 great bosses.


• Our Sunday School group--what a great bunch of friends!


• Family


• Books


• Great authors who keep writing books that I want to read.


• Robin's Egg Blue


• Being able to take a day off from work to go hang out with my best friend next week. I can't wait.


• Weight Watchers


• Land's End chinos--best pants ever!


• Cable knit turtleneck sweaters.


• Middle School Basketball


• That Zach's arms are healed from his fall from the tree. No therapy needed! Woohoo!


• Guadalajar's regular margaritas on ice.


• My pets


• Fluffly comforters


• Peach pie


• Mom Huggins' vegetable soup


• Good jobs


• My forever house


• My kids--their hardwork @ school and their levelheadedness with their friends.


• My wedding china

Just a few random things that are making me happy right now and that I am thankful for.

A few more projects in the works...

Well this weekend we bought another set of wicker--a love seat, 2 chairs and 2 tables--for $50. What a steal. It was all white and so far this weekend Doug has painted the love seat and one table brown to match the stuff on the porch and the 2 chairs went a burnt orange--cinnamon is what the can said. Trying to match the burnt orange--rusty color in the dining room curtains. I bought a new table runner in cinnamon last weekend in Schaumburg and already have the same color candles in a couple of candlesticks in there. Tired of the green already--thinking of changing it to a robin's egg blue--the original color I wanted but was worried about having in my house of fall colors. Should have went with my first instinct, because now that we have the new couch and rug--it has that blue and a lighter shade of sage green. Going to put the 2 chairs in the dining room on either side of my round drop leaf table by the windows. I have wanted to get chairs in there forever--it was how I pictured that room from the very beginning and getting such a good deal on the wicker set made it all possible. I'm not too sure on the color yet--Doug is out there glazing them with a brown color now--to tone down the color--I bought beige cushions at Target yesterday for $17.50 each and material at Hobby Lobby for $2/yard to make pillows. They brought cushions and pillows today for the set--they were stored somewhere else when we picked it up. Luckily for us the love seat cushion and a few of the pillows matched our set currently out there. Awesome for me. The other pillows will be covered with the Hobby Lobby fabric and will save me from having to purchase pillow forms.

Another project almost finished is the magnetic/cork board/message center that we are making from one of our old windows. Doug took the glass out of it and cut boards and metal to fit in the openings. He attached cork on the wood and I mod-podged decorative paper onto the metal pieces. Waiting for them to dry to see how it turned out. I'm tired of all the pieces of paper stuck on the fridge. So we will put this on the wall next to the fridge that isn't visible from the hallway or dining room to get some of the visual clutter out of the kitchen.

Also we purchased a desk from Ikea last weekend that Doug will put together sometime here shortly I hope. Going to move the computer back out of the closet and out into the open--it is overheating in here.

I took pictures of all these things and I hope to figure out how to post them on here when I get a little more free time. Not this week: Mon-game, Tues-open house, Wed-game, Thursday-game, Friday-porch party, Saturday-game. And one of our friends' mom has died so we need to go to a visitation sometime this week. Junior High baseball is our life for the next month and half.