WTF?

This week was crazy busy--lots of kids out sick. Lots of homework to request. Lots of stuff to get ready for my sub next week...because I will be on jury duty. I worked late last night and made a list of everything I needed to do today before 3:30--why is it that everything I had to do at the end of the day didn't get done because the office was jammed packed and crazy from 2:15 on. UGH!!!! I will have to go back in tonight to finish up the substitute report for the end of the month and to do the attendance report for the end of the month and to get stuff ready for my sub next week. OMG! Just when I think it is calm--the storm hits.

Also frustrated on the basketball car pool level. Last week the mom that put it all together was going to be out of town so she made arrangements for her ex's new wife to pick up for her didn't show up one night--because the boy went home with a friend--so one of us had to high tail it to Blue Mound to pick the rest of them up. Then today it was 20 after 4 and the dad had yet to come pick Zach up and practice was at 4:30. I had to speed all the way there so Zach wouldn't have to run laps. Who knows what time they got there. These kids are frustrating who don't tell their parents that there is a time change for practice. It's almost not worth it.

Jury Duty. UGH!

Just another manic Monday...

Why are Mondays after a long weekend always harder than any other Monday--which by the way is pretty darn hard?

Lots of kids sick at school today and had to go home--not to mention the ones that were called in--including my own.

Field trip--a whole chorus class that had to be put in for attendance.

The principal had a medical procedure on Friday so he was late coming in because he was still recooperating. And of course every one gets sent to the office when the principal isn't there.

Teachers who are high maintenence.

Other staff that are high maintenence.

Driving 5 boys to basketball practice.

A church finance meeting.

Laundry that never got finished over the weekend.

Brand new garage door openers that aren't opening correctly. UGH!

Trying to figure out what to make for supper.

Wanting to scrap--more like organize my area--but every time I go up there I get distracted. If I spent 1/2 the time scrapping that I do rearranging I would get tons of stuff done.

Basketball games start this weekend as Zach is dressing for the 8th grade tournament. Don't know if he will play, but...gearing up to listen to the same parents from last year "bitch" because my kids is playing over theirs. LOVE IT!

Already got a call from one of the bball moms about food for the hospitality room for that tournament. Have to make spaghetti and do a veggie tray Monday night. Need to head to the store again.

Hope this isn't any indication about how the rest of the week is going to go.

10 things about me right now...

1. I'm still working up to the fact that I want to have less in my life. On Columbus Day I spent the whole day watching the show "Hoarders" on A & E and at every commercial I went and took something out of a drawer, a closet, a basket, etc.

2. I only have 2 major projects left at work to do. Cell Phone policies and cleaning out and labelling all my file cabinets--I think there are 12 of them--yikes.

3. I have jury duty for the first time in my life starting November 1st. The thing I am most worried about is that the old secretary is going to be my substitute, because my regular one can't take a week away from her home business. I just don't know about this.

4. I'm so ready for Fall. It took forever to get here, but when we were out and about this weekend I noticed the leaves are turning. Yeah.

5. I'm ready to start Christmas shopping--and I have money to do it. Double yeah!

6. Kate got her permit last Friday but I am too chicken to take her driving by myself. I keep picturing my mother when she took me. Maybe I'll let the dad do it until she gets better...

7. Zach has basketball try outs tonight and tomorrow. Crossing my fingers for him!

8. I have Friday off and I don't have a plan yet. Better get one.

9. Need to take my BFF out for her birthday. I feel bad because we never see/talk to each other any more. Can these kids hurry up and grow up so we can have some free time?

10. I need to read a book. I don't feel like myself when I don't read.

Every one says you begin to know your real self at 40...

I think that is true. It's like I turned 40 and all of a sudden I don't want extra stuff in my life, I don't want to be someone I am not, I don't want to deal with people who get on my nerves. Things don't matter so much as people do. I wonder how I wasted most of my life "wanting" things. Now I want peace, I want family time, I want simplicity, I want love, I want less, I want to feel safe, I want to be genuine, I want to quit pretending around certain family members. I want to be myself, my whole self and nothing but myself.

Today felt like Monday all over again...

Geez it was the day from hell for sure. Tons of sick kids called in, kids coming into the office wanting to go home sick, parents calling about homework, substitutes, teachers who can't/won't do attendance. I called a parent today whose child was actually at school. How embarrassing. 1st hour teacher did not do attendance, 2nd hour teacher marked her absent, and 3rd hour teacher did not do attendance. Made me look like an idiot. I had enough and sent out a email to all the teachers and told them to do their attendance. How hard is it. You click on your class--You click on the kids that aren't present in your class (if they aren't already on there because they are sick or at an appt or something else) and you chose "A" for absent. How hard is it? Takes me less than 5 minutes when I do it for the teacher that doesn't have a computer or for a sub. Give me a break! Funny the ones that cared and came to ask me weren't the culprits. Well, one usually is but she actually did her attendance today. So I told her she was good for TODAY! Hope they got the hint. There were also the kids that forgot their driver's ed permit money and had their parents bring it in--try 12 of those, the kids that got their cell phones taken away (3), the kids that got sent down to the office for behavior issues(7) and the teacher that calls down multiple times a day because he can't control his classes (he called twice), oh and the athletic director who is so unorganized it isn't funny, and I haven't had a copy machine all week--since I started it has been broken 2 of the 5 days there are in a week. It's a rough 1st year, but by next year I should be used to it, right? Today was the first day I questioned my sanity of wanting this job and accepting it. Ha. I'm going in tonight after supper to catch up on all the stuff I didn't get to today. I need to feel like I'm making some progress--my piles have piles. I have to get the activity fund ironed out, and make progress on the letters to parents who owe the school, I need to do 2 deposits and make a list of all the kids that need to come down to the office to fill out a cell phone policy. It's never ending. But even after everything that happened to day I still love it. Go figure!

Preparing myself to purge...

If you know me, you know that I am all about organizing. Cleaning out, cleaning up and containerizing--with labels, of course. You all think that I am neat in every area of my life that every nook, cranny and space in my house is exactly the way that I want it. You have this false impression that because I am organized I am not a "keeper". Oh, but I am here to tell you that it is hard for me to let go of stuff.

The 4 bins of off season clothes in the basement tells a different story. Also the unfinished attic, the basement, baskets, and bins and drawers full of stuff. I have trouble letting go of certain things. Scrapbooking stuff I will probably never use, bedding (I know, weird), containers, antique stuff, stuff my kids have made, stuff that used to belong to someone I loved, toys from my children, decorations I might use some day, my own clothes, shoes and jewelry. Those are all areas that I struggle with on a daily basis.

Sunday I helped Zach clean his room--and I mean clean--CLEAN. He was ruthless--he was fearless--I was cringing as he pitched pictures, toys, trinkets, keepsakes, stuffed animals and other stuff. In fact, I am horrible because I rescued clay figures he had made and other stuff I want to show his kids when he grows up. He went through clothes--even if they were newer--I told him it wouldn't offend me if he only kept what he loved and wore--along with his dress clothes--he hates. We cleaned out so much that he has 2 empty shelves and one empty drawer.

Why can't I be like that? I start out that way--I feel fearless as I pitch makeup I haven't worn in years, 10 lipsticks that I bought thinking they were the perfect color only to get them home and find out I hate all of them. I am ruthless as I go through clothes in my closet and take out shirts that I haven't worn all season--only to put them in a bin and put them in the garage for the rummage. Then when I go through them later to mark them I end up pulling stuff out of it because I might wear them one day...ha...I'm laughable.

Recently I started putting clothes in black garbage bags and then having Doug run them as fast as he can to the nearest Salvation Army drop box. That day--sometimes that hour. It feels good to be free.

I'm desperately working myself up to the end all and be all purge of our home. Where I am brave, fearless and ruthless. Where things I have been keeping for years get tossed, donated or sold. Where I will not feel guilty because I paid good money for something that I don't use. I want to be the lady who buys what she needs and only when she needs it. Really, how many people do you know that need 30 short sleeved shirts or 30 turtleneck sweaters. Come on!!! My problem is that I don't know how many is a good amount--5? seems to few. 10? not enough choices. 15--seems like it is pushing too many. ARGH!

The next month I will be doing a lot of soul searching--a lot of figuring out where I want my life to go--what is really important to me--and then letting the rest go. So what if I don't have a sweater for every day of the month. So what if the quilt that I have been saving from Kate's bed for one of the beds for my grandkids gets donated? So what...will it really affect my life poorly if I don't have it in 10 years.

Also I will be rethinking every purchase I want to make. I will be making a list and only getting the stuff that I still "need" in 2 weeks. I only have one thing on my list right now and it is casual brown clogs.

I am going to plan on going through every drawer, box, basket and closet,every bin in our unfinished attic space, every thing in our garage and basement. I need to feel free--I need to keep only what I love and what I use--the rest is just pulling me down. FREEDOM here I come...