Random Thursday

A few random things in my life right now...

• One of my young co-workers has followed her heart to move to Wisconsin with her man.  That leaves me only one other young one to hang around with. I am really going to miss giving her "mom" advice and being like a big sis to her.
• I am having lots of anxiety thinking that I am going to have a senior and a freshman.  And my freshman is participating in basketball open gyms---my boss is one of the coaches.  I really want Zach to be coached by him...but hope Zach continues to give basketball his all.
• Went to the grocery store by myself tonight and spent a lot of time in the car contemplating life right now.  Am I where I want to be...you know...did I think I was going to be in this place @ 41. Have I met my personal goals and lofty family ideals?  Hmmm...going to have to think on this one.
• Missing my best girl friend...wishing we still had Tuesdays to get together...loved getting together almost every week with her and being crafty...damn kids! ha.
• Been busy looking for a car for Kate...ahhh the joys of having a teen driver. Good thing I live across the street from work.
• Just came across a awesome sale at one of my favorite clothing stores....3 work shirts, a cami, and 2 pairs of dress pants---$80.00.  WTF...I love a 60% off sale. I'm set for work in the fall.
• 2 days of work left. Glad to be done this year.  Anticipating the stuff I want to get done.  Where to start though?  I'm thinking the stuff I need to do but don't want to.  UGH...time to eat my frogs.
• Am really not liking all my animal hair right now.  What I really need to do is vacuum every day--so not on my fun list. 
• My son has a freaking pig sty of a room...I hate it...clothes everywhere...who knows it they are dirty or clean. I wish there were just one more freak like me living here. 
• Zach's girlfriend of one year broke up with him...I really like her...she was a good girl....here's hoping that he didn't say or do something mean to her.  I really want him to show respect to women even if they trample on his heart.  I think he really liked her and was shocked that she broke up. 
• Kate's new job is going well....she is over the "I don't want to spend all of my summer working"...thank goodness...not going to have a lazy ass living here...most of that attitude was nerves I think...not knowing what to expect or if she was going to do okay. 
• Doug and I are planning a small vacation---weekend one for the middle to end of June.  Want to take the kids to Holiday World.  It will be nice to just get away for a while.  Also going to try to take the train up to Chicago before school starts again. 

I'm in a funk...

Can't seem to crawl out of it.  Nothing bad is happening...normal life around here.  Normal baseball games, normal ACT testing, normal Spring flowers blooming, normal ice cream cravings, normal jobs and bills and house and pets and...NORMAL.  Why am I so down?

Today I had to leave the office and get out (My boss suggested it--taking a little break)to get away from the chaos that is sometimes my job.The phone never stops ringing....the kitchen staff never has a day without drama...the parents are relentless in their complaints/worries/demands.  I will never make it the twenty five years that my predecessor did.  NEVER.  I'll be lucky to make it the fifteen I need to be vested in my pension.  There are days that I don't know if I will even make it through.  Today was one of them. 

And bless the teachers--it was secretary's day--and I got 3 gift cards to restaurants and a lovely lily and a rockin' mug from the principal.  I'd hate to think of how my day would have been if not for those cool thoughtful things. 

So I am sitting here at this computer, trying to talk myself out of opening a wine cooler--sipping on a bottle of water all the while craving a real drink.  Drowning my day with alcohol...bring it on.  Ha ha. 

This weekend is prom.  Kate is ready.  Doug and I are ready to work the post-prom game room.  Bring that on.

Also at this moment Doug, Zach and Kate are out test driving a VW beetle.  We are about to become a 3 car family.  Holy crap!  My babies just keep getting older and older.  Milestones keep coming and coming.   Bring that on too.

Needing a little get away I think.  Time to talk to the hubby about getting away just the 2 of us for a little r & r and just us time.  Sometimes we just need a little recharging and I think that is what is up with me.

Glad I could come here to this place and figure it out.

I'm thankful for....

• Beautiful weather
• the sun
• going to breakfast on Sunday mornings with my husband
• my Sunday school class
• old friends
• Land's end
• sandals
• pedicures
• knowing I am exactly where I am supposed to be at this point of my life.
• God
• Music
• Flowers
• how well my kids "think" and "do"--Doug and I must be doing something right.
• new friends
• magazines
• my animals--even though I had to clean up puke from one of them today.
• my bosses

I'm a glass half empty kind of gal--but I'm trying to be better.

It's almost over...

I can't believe the school year is almost over. I read on Facebook that there is only 5 more MOndays. I checked--it's true. OMG. I'm not ready. I don't have the awards ordered or the diplomas either. I've got to get it in gear. I'm going to be putting in some extra hours I think.

Baseball is in full swing. This week we start the Chatham league on Wednesdays. Plus we have double headers on Friday and Saturday.

Today the kids and I were off--I've been sitting around thinking about some of the stuff I want to get done this summer. I need to get the ideas down somewhere so I guess here is as good as anywhere--at least I will be able to find it when I go to get started. Ha.

Closets
Linen--shelves covered--back painted.
My--shelves covered---shoe storage rethought--add extra shelf at top. Blackboard paint in one of the inside panels--to get list?
Paper--Shelves covered--back painted--reorganize (maybe add fixed shelves to bottom portion)papers filed, magazine holder painted. Black board paint on inside panel.
Built in cabinet in pantry--shelves covered. Reorganized. Aired out.
Spare room--cleaned out. painted. add fixed shelving to side. go through clothes. Divide top shelf into 2--go up.
Coat closet by side door--re do shoe storage. Hang extra coats in hall closet (after gone through) up stairs. install shelving for "stuff". Line with hooks.
Junk--go through again. Reorganize.

Porch
Paint "Welcome to our" on the porch sign.
Buy 3 pots for red tool box--plant ivy in them.
New cushions for table chairs?
Buy material to recover pillows from England's wicker. Indoor/outdoor fabric.
Long Concrete planters for porch "steps".
"urns" for either side of door--concrete.

Yard
Concrete or painted bird bath
Gate up
Haul in dirt for around house
Order landscaping stones and river rock.
Hang lights around inside of porch.
Fix plant hook.
Wash all wicker and wrought iron.
Major trim up on most of the bushes--especially HOlly.
Pull up corner evergreen on South front corner and plant red bush.

Scrapbooking/Crafts
Kate's school book up to date. Ready for senior year. Try to decide on what to do for that--separate book--for each day? By month?
Cut fabrics for her quilt into 4" squares.
Once Kate's are up to date--work on Zach's school and sports.
Do at least 12 layouts for family scrapbook.
Make curtain for scrapbook desk.
Make pillows for couch upstairs.
Make pillows for dining room wicker.


Misc.
Shampoo dining room rugs.
Find chairs for den desk and for upstairs craft area.
Picture wall in den (convince Doug that we need a shelf over desk)
Kitchen bowl shelf down...come up with other idea for that area.
Re-do attic storage--buy more wire shelving to organize christmas. Floor in eaves for toy storage?
Glass for linen and kitchen storage cabinets (before graduation.)
Fix glass in den bookshelf. (before graduation)
Fix door in hutch that won't stay shut. Buy latch?


Back Entry:
Paint wainscotting
Paint upper walls something lighter and brighter.
New runner rug.
New curtain or something.
Curtain going down to basement--Something like what's in den--linen.

Gosh...don't think I can get all that done before summer is over. Holy moly....might be a before Kate graduates list.

It's been awhile.....

Haven't posted in a long time. Things are going pretty smoothly around here which is pretty amazing. I finally quit Weight Watchers--after a whole year I am only down 12 pounds. Not too bad, but nothing that I am that proud of. A friend and I started walking after work Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays and once we did a little cardio and weight training with the PE teacher at work. I'm liking the walking thing...need to get back on the eating right thing.

I told my friend yesterday--we are both big girls--she just happens to be almost 7 inches taller than me--my problem is I really don't "see" myself as fat. Now don't get me wrong I am fat...60 pounds over weight (at least) but the only time I have issues is when I am trying on clothes or in my swimsuit...the rest of the time I feel normal sized. When I dream...I am skinny in my dreams. Lately I have issues with my stomach sticking out--and when I see myself in pictures I don't like it, but on an every day basis I am happy. So....why in the world am I obsessed with the weight thing? And why on earth can't I get a handle on it.

I've thrown around the whole "I'm filling myself up with something I am missing in my life, my past, my childhood, fill in the blank", but anymore I'm not sure that is it. I'm very happy with my marriage, my children and my job. Our finances are stabilizing...I live in my dream home...I want for nothing (well that 640 million would have been nice...) so what exactly is my issue.

I'm going to be analyzing and reflecting a lot this summer--before my birthday in September I would really like to figure out a plan. Not only a personal one...but a professional one. I'm going to be trying to figure out who I am and what I am doing with my life...do I want to lose weight, if I do how much, what I want to do with my paycheck--save it, pay off bills, pay for Kate's college, what I want to be as a wife, mother, friend and co-worker. I would like to talk Doug into doing the Dave Ramsey thing and getting ourselves out of debt. I want to have the $950 we pay to bills every month to go into savings or a vacation club or into a house improvement fund.

I need to figure it all out...be in control by the time I am 50---figure out how to save for our retirements---I will need the beach a lot when I am old you know...enjoy life without worrying about money for the rest of my freaking life. And if I figure out the weight thing along the way so much the better.

Here's to figuring it all out.

Random thoughts...

Every time I hear the National Anthem at a ball game I always sing every word of that song in my head to myself. I put my hand over my heart and really think about how good we have it here in the USA. Every single time.

I wonder whatever happened to expectations, standards and morals. Meaning what ever happened to parents who taught their kids the above things. Someone was talking the other day about rewarding their kids when they got a good report card. Growing up my parents expected As--didn't always get them--in fact I was a B kind of girl...but I knew they expected good grades. And as a parent myself I never give my kids more than a "good job--keep up the good work". If we pay/reward them for good work--they will come to expect that in my opinion. I see students every day who have no concept of working hard for something for the sake of pride. Most of them have no pride/ feeling of self worth whatsoever because they are doing stuff to be rewarded by their parents not because they want to do well for themselves. The more we give the more they want. And I'm not saying that my kids aren't spoiled--because frankly they are, but they don't get money for their report cards, they get allowance for helping with family chores which they use to buy stuff for themselves and they don't get everything they want everytime they ask us for something.

ADM is getting rid of 1000 employees. In the corporate area...that means Doug may be affected. OMG--I finally have my dream house and my dream job---what if we have to move? THen we move--no questions asked--because family comes first and we go where he goes. I can't believe how after 21 years how completely in love I still am with this man. I would follow him anywhere because he is my better half. I've been with him over half my life now--and can't wait for the rest of it with him.

My daughter is so normal and level headed at 16. Wish I was like that back when I was her age. My God, she is going to be the most unbelievable mother and wife and friend.

My son is so freaking funny and trying both at the same time. He pushes me to the limit every day and I see so much of my bull headed self in him. It will be a miracle if we don't end up at each other's throat before he leaves for college. I can't wait to see where he will end up in life. I don't see how he can be so organized with certain things and such a mess in others.

It's hard to believe that this year I will be 42. Holy crap--time is flying fast and most days I just want it to slow down so I can savor it all.

One little word...

I thought and thought and thought on this one. Here was my initial brainstorm:

• honesty


• discipline


• light


• less


• chill


• thoughtful


• change


• freedom


• simple


• relax


• reflection


• order


• reduce *


• transform *


• consider *


• confident


• genuine


• prepare **


• mindful **


• aware


• sincere


• true


• intentional **


• reduce


• control

The one * words are words I initially pondered. Then I looked up other words similar to them in the thesaurus and found the ones that have two *. Those were the ones that were in my final brainstorm and those were the ones I was going to have to decide between. I went to Ali Edwards' blog to see what other people had chosen and the word ENOUGH jumped right out at me. I figured it spoke so loudly to me because it goes so well with the other words I have chosen in the past: 2010 was SIMPLIFY and 2011 was LESS. Enough is perfect for me.

This is what I wrote to my girlfriend when I emailed her about my choice this year.

ok…my one little word for this year is ENOUGH.

Enough spending mindlessly.

Enough eating indiscriminately.

Enough stuff.

Enough putting things off.

Enough putting up with crap.

Enough with the lazy ass person I call myself.

Enough saying that I want to know Him more.

Enough is enough---it’s time for action.

Another new year..

Resolutions:

• Lose 15# again this year by going to Weight Watchers weekly.


• Only shop for myself with my own spending money--not out of family budget


• Only buy 1 purse this year


• Get caught up on Kate's school album--you know she graduates next year right?


• Move more--@ least 15 minutes 5 times a week


• Be closer to God--I bought the one year Bible and I'm going to read before bed.


• Develop all my pictures from the last 2-3 years.

Simplified:

• Think things through


• Plan ahead


• Choose wisely


• Spend smartly


• Want Less


• Move more

Still to do in January:

1. Put away Christmas


2. Organize Paper closet


3. Clean out junk drawer


4. Figure out one little word


5. Find ways to organize bills, pay off debt, and manage paper clutter that lands on table.


6. organize freezers and clean out fridge


7. Linen closet organized