Saturday, August 8, 2009
I struggle...
With my kids, my job, myself and with my life. Do you ever feel like you aren't a grown up yet or am I the only one? I am steadily approaching 39 and some days I don't feel a day over 15. It seems weird in the aspect that I run a family and a home but I don't feel like a accomplish much in life. I also have trouble with conflict and seeing that I am somebody. How do I overcome all the chaos that I feel and help my kids overcome and conquer all the stresses that they will face in life? I struggle with it on a daily basis. I keep hearing that people find out who they really are in their 30s. So far I am still desparately seeking that person that I truly am. I'm bold--but not really. I'm funny--but not in a positive way. I'm organized--but only sometimes. I'm happy--but it is mostly when I am alone. I'm crafty--but don't give myself enough credit. I'm mostly grumpy, tempermental, prone to hysterics and mad at the world. None of the things I truly want to be. None of the feelings I want my children to have when they grow up--I don't want them to be like me in the feelings department. I will keep thinking on this subject as I struggle...
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Why do I love blogs so much?
And why do I spend most of the time I am on the computer looking at blogs. I've decided I love to read other peoples thoughts. It's like taking a look into someone's journal. I mostly read real moms who struggle with the same problems I have, some are really good photographers (which I am not) some are very thrifty and some are very crafty. I even have a few scrapbook "celebrities" I read regularly. Some times I check there blogs a few times a day--like they have the time to post once a day not alone twice. It's an obsession with me.
I even enjoy blogging. Because I love to write and always have and it is much easier to type out a bunch of words than sit and write in my journal. I try to do that too though--I want my kids to read my words--in my own handwriting when I am gone. I always thought I would write a book some day. You know, I might still do that...who knows.
I'm off to stalk--I mean read some more. Ha.
I even enjoy blogging. Because I love to write and always have and it is much easier to type out a bunch of words than sit and write in my journal. I try to do that too though--I want my kids to read my words--in my own handwriting when I am gone. I always thought I would write a book some day. You know, I might still do that...who knows.
I'm off to stalk--I mean read some more. Ha.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
I'm a brunette again!
Well, I went back to my natural color tonight. But it is so dark. I'm tired of paying too much money to get my hair highlighted and lowlighted. It's time to be boring old brunette Lori again. It's weird to catch myself in the mirror though. I keep thinking "who is this person" looking at me. Oh, and I got bangs. I wanted long bangs--but got freakishly short ones. They look okay, but come on. Cut it like I want it. Anyway, this is my plan to save $100 every time I go to the hairdresser. It will stay brown for awhile--unless of course I have gray hairs in the real color and then I am back to the bottle. Ha.
I worked on my wedding scrapbook today. It's only been 16 years--will I ever finish it? I actually just started the album. 3 years ago. It's frustrating to have that still on my to do list. So, my goal is to get it finished--all the way--by the time the summer is over. And just to clarify, my summer is over on September 21--or whatever day in September summer officially ends. That gives me more than a month. Surely I can finish it by then.
Went to the library with the kids when I got home from work yesterday afternoon. They have both already finished one of the books they got. Yes. I said both my kids read a whole book in one day. Write it down. Ha. I didn't think they had it in them. They are like me. They had to ride their bikes back to the library today to get more books. Yeah. I got 4 yesterday. I will be lucky to get them all read in the 2 weeks. I did start one today at the hairdresser--I'm already on page 75. I need to go so I can get a few minutes reading in before I go to bed.
I can't wait until school starts so I can get back on MY schedule!
I worked on my wedding scrapbook today. It's only been 16 years--will I ever finish it? I actually just started the album. 3 years ago. It's frustrating to have that still on my to do list. So, my goal is to get it finished--all the way--by the time the summer is over. And just to clarify, my summer is over on September 21--or whatever day in September summer officially ends. That gives me more than a month. Surely I can finish it by then.
Went to the library with the kids when I got home from work yesterday afternoon. They have both already finished one of the books they got. Yes. I said both my kids read a whole book in one day. Write it down. Ha. I didn't think they had it in them. They are like me. They had to ride their bikes back to the library today to get more books. Yeah. I got 4 yesterday. I will be lucky to get them all read in the 2 weeks. I did start one today at the hairdresser--I'm already on page 75. I need to go so I can get a few minutes reading in before I go to bed.
I can't wait until school starts so I can get back on MY schedule!
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Is it fall yet?
It feels like it. All this non-hot weather has really gotten me in the mood for getting my fall decorations out. I still have almost 2 more months until it actually is fall.
We went down to my Grandma Bright's yesterday to get this huge cabinet/bookcase that was in her and my grandpa's garage. One time before she passed away I was out in the garage with my mom and noticed this cabinet that I fell in love with. My grandpa was a mechanic and he had it loaded down with all sorts of parts and garage what not. No one in my family sees what I do in the cabinet. They are all shocked that I want it. To them it is just a piece of junk. Wait until Doug gets done with it. He is in the process of painting it right at this minute. I am going to try to wrestle it upstairs and put it in my scrap area and load it up with some of my own what not. And when it is all decorated I am going to take a picture of it and email it to everyone so that they know I am not crazy.
Speaking of treasures from Grandma and Grandpa's...I also got a painted pink stool that used to sit in my Great Grandma's front porch area and it held a basket to catch the mail from her slot. (I have the basket too--I have had it for most of my life though--it was what I used for my baby's cradle when I was little) Anyway back to the stool, it was the extra seat all of us kids used when there weren't any other chairs at the dinner table. I also got this cool retro table cloth--my mother said was ugly. It has turquoise, salmon pink and a tan color in the designs on it. I won't use it in the house--it doesn't got with my decor, but I will use it on my porch or at a picnic or whatever. I will think of my Gram every time I use it. I got a old tablecloth from Doug's grandma's stuff when she passed away too along with some cool doilies--some are crocheted and some have embroidery work on them. I love old stuff. I have visions some day of making them into cool pillows for the porch. That is on my to do list--maybe when the kids are gone.
Only 8 more days until school registration and then another 8 days after that for school to start. I am ready. It's good to have time without a routine, but I am a woman who likes routine and I have had enough of a summer with no schedules. Plus I also like my time alone and I can count on one hand how many times I have had to myself this summer. I need my own time in a house without kids and a husband. No offense family!
Heading to the library tomorrow to get a couple books to read. I'm hoping the kids will go along with me and get a few to read themselves.
We went down to my Grandma Bright's yesterday to get this huge cabinet/bookcase that was in her and my grandpa's garage. One time before she passed away I was out in the garage with my mom and noticed this cabinet that I fell in love with. My grandpa was a mechanic and he had it loaded down with all sorts of parts and garage what not. No one in my family sees what I do in the cabinet. They are all shocked that I want it. To them it is just a piece of junk. Wait until Doug gets done with it. He is in the process of painting it right at this minute. I am going to try to wrestle it upstairs and put it in my scrap area and load it up with some of my own what not. And when it is all decorated I am going to take a picture of it and email it to everyone so that they know I am not crazy.
Speaking of treasures from Grandma and Grandpa's...I also got a painted pink stool that used to sit in my Great Grandma's front porch area and it held a basket to catch the mail from her slot. (I have the basket too--I have had it for most of my life though--it was what I used for my baby's cradle when I was little) Anyway back to the stool, it was the extra seat all of us kids used when there weren't any other chairs at the dinner table. I also got this cool retro table cloth--my mother said was ugly. It has turquoise, salmon pink and a tan color in the designs on it. I won't use it in the house--it doesn't got with my decor, but I will use it on my porch or at a picnic or whatever. I will think of my Gram every time I use it. I got a old tablecloth from Doug's grandma's stuff when she passed away too along with some cool doilies--some are crocheted and some have embroidery work on them. I love old stuff. I have visions some day of making them into cool pillows for the porch. That is on my to do list--maybe when the kids are gone.
Only 8 more days until school registration and then another 8 days after that for school to start. I am ready. It's good to have time without a routine, but I am a woman who likes routine and I have had enough of a summer with no schedules. Plus I also like my time alone and I can count on one hand how many times I have had to myself this summer. I need my own time in a house without kids and a husband. No offense family!
Heading to the library tomorrow to get a couple books to read. I'm hoping the kids will go along with me and get a few to read themselves.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Back to the grind
We are back from our mini getaway to St. Louis and my trip to Florida. I hate to say it but it is nice to be home. I can't believe I said that. Guess I am just a home body at heart. As much as I complain and complain about chores and stuff around the house I was feeling odd about not doing any laundry or chores while we were gone.
Speaking of chores while I was gone--I came home to a load of towels done and a new light fixture in the dining room. Also the yard was mowed. Plus the house wasn't too bad--I am quite shocked on that one. They were busy most of the time so I shouldn't be surprised.
Oh and I came home to the fender on MY car being bashed in. Doug was in an accident--the lady hit him and then didn't stop. How lovely! IN MY CAR. ugh. He's going to get an estimate tomorrow at lunch time...Life...there's nothing like it, right?
I finished a small scrapbook album of all my neices and nephews--which is going to have some type of Cousins theme. I only have to come up with a few snapshot pictures to add here and there and Voila! it will be done. I also finished all my professional pics of the cousins for their scrapbooks--I am caught up on those now--and I also started an album about the 4 of us. I was very happy with my progress, but wish I would have taken more to do. I also read 1 1/2 books, swam in their pool, watched a movie and visited a lot. I really enjoyed the trip. It was nice to have no responsibilites and no real schedules. The second night we didn't eat supper until 8:30--we lost track of time and didn't realize how late it was. Awesome. All of our flights were uneventful--well, for me--some blanket covering teenager slept on Dawn's shoulder for the majority of the flight from Atlanta to Ft. Lauderdale. Ha. Not really funny--but sorta, kinda--sorry Dawn.
I am loving working with the new pastor--so far. He's a worker and wants me to be involved with everything--I love that even more. I am so excited to actually work. I even agreed to work an extra hour every day this week to get on the same page with him--sometimes 3 hours isn't enough.
Speaking of chores while I was gone--I came home to a load of towels done and a new light fixture in the dining room. Also the yard was mowed. Plus the house wasn't too bad--I am quite shocked on that one. They were busy most of the time so I shouldn't be surprised.
Oh and I came home to the fender on MY car being bashed in. Doug was in an accident--the lady hit him and then didn't stop. How lovely! IN MY CAR. ugh. He's going to get an estimate tomorrow at lunch time...Life...there's nothing like it, right?
I finished a small scrapbook album of all my neices and nephews--which is going to have some type of Cousins theme. I only have to come up with a few snapshot pictures to add here and there and Voila! it will be done. I also finished all my professional pics of the cousins for their scrapbooks--I am caught up on those now--and I also started an album about the 4 of us. I was very happy with my progress, but wish I would have taken more to do. I also read 1 1/2 books, swam in their pool, watched a movie and visited a lot. I really enjoyed the trip. It was nice to have no responsibilites and no real schedules. The second night we didn't eat supper until 8:30--we lost track of time and didn't realize how late it was. Awesome. All of our flights were uneventful--well, for me--some blanket covering teenager slept on Dawn's shoulder for the majority of the flight from Atlanta to Ft. Lauderdale. Ha. Not really funny--but sorta, kinda--sorry Dawn.
I am loving working with the new pastor--so far. He's a worker and wants me to be involved with everything--I love that even more. I am so excited to actually work. I even agreed to work an extra hour every day this week to get on the same page with him--sometimes 3 hours isn't enough.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
June is almost gone!
Baseball games twice if not three times a week. Lots of rain. Chores from our chart getting done. Open gym for middle school basketball tryouts. 2 nieces birthdays. A trip to a scrapbooking store and out to lunch with my BFF. A lot of blonde in my hair. A basketball tournament. A graduation party. A movie date with Doug. A sleepover for Kate's birthday with her 3 BFFs. A trip to see Transformers--there were 15 of us. A baby shower. A going away potluck for our Pastor. I0 books. 5 scrapbook layouts. At least 2 trips to the pool a week. Zach got his first cell phone--Kate her second-with a keyboard-for her birthday next week. This was our June.
July will be hectic for us too. But this summer I am not freaking out about being busy--this is our life--and in this moment we are busy. We say yes to whoever asks us first, say thanks but no to anything more than we can do and that's what it is. We are headed to St. Louis at the end of next week for a mini vacation. We are going to watch the fireworks on the river, take a trip to Grant's Farm and the Science Center, and hope to see an old friend and her family while we are down there and we will finish it all up with a trip to see Zach's diabetes doctor. He's been doing better than last time at keeping his blood sugars in the normal range. Good for him.
After we get back from St. Louis--I have one day to do all our laundry, plus go into work for a few hours to help the new pastor get ready for Sunday's service then BFF and I are headed to Florida for a few days for a little girls time out. We plan to do some scrapbooking, lay by the pool, drink a few margaritas and relax a lot from our everyday lives. I am taking a couple books and a couple magazines. Dawn sleeps later than I do--I can get some reading done. Some more reading done.
Before I know it summer will be gone and I will be wondering where it went.
July will be hectic for us too. But this summer I am not freaking out about being busy--this is our life--and in this moment we are busy. We say yes to whoever asks us first, say thanks but no to anything more than we can do and that's what it is. We are headed to St. Louis at the end of next week for a mini vacation. We are going to watch the fireworks on the river, take a trip to Grant's Farm and the Science Center, and hope to see an old friend and her family while we are down there and we will finish it all up with a trip to see Zach's diabetes doctor. He's been doing better than last time at keeping his blood sugars in the normal range. Good for him.
After we get back from St. Louis--I have one day to do all our laundry, plus go into work for a few hours to help the new pastor get ready for Sunday's service then BFF and I are headed to Florida for a few days for a little girls time out. We plan to do some scrapbooking, lay by the pool, drink a few margaritas and relax a lot from our everyday lives. I am taking a couple books and a couple magazines. Dawn sleeps later than I do--I can get some reading done. Some more reading done.
Before I know it summer will be gone and I will be wondering where it went.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
June here we come!
I was looking at my calendar this morning trying to find a Saturday to schedule our card club and low and behold--we have exactly 2 Saturdays free before August and one of them is a maybe. What is up with that? This weekend is a AYBT tournament that Zach is in. 3 games on Saturday, 2 on Sunday and Kate and I will have to miss on Sunday, our church is celebrating our graduates and since she "graduated" from 8th grade she is being recognized. I hope we can catch the last part of the second game because it starts when we get out of church. Doug also mentioned going to a 1st Sunday market in Decatur--it is supposed to be a huge flea market type atmosphere with antiques and crafts. He knows I am always up for that. I better measure the places I need stuff for and write that down so I have it. I need to stick a tape measure in my purse also.
Doug talked to our loan officer today and we are going to close on our home loan tomorrow or Friday. Finally! Majority of work is done (the stuff we borrowed the money for--and the bathroom too) so it is only right we start paying huh? It will be a relief to know a payment amount and start paying down. The way it is now we will be 68 when we get done paying for this house. Plans are now to pay extra every month to get 2nd mortgage paid off and then put those amounts toward the loan every month. I don't want to be almost 70 and still paying for the house. I'm sure Doug will work until then (notice how I didn't say I would--although I could probably still do the church secretary job until then. ha) so no big deal, but...come to think about it...Doug's mom and dad are still both working and they are 68 and I don't see them quitting any time soon. I think it keeps them young. My parents are 10 years younger and my mom is retired. My dad talks about it non stop. I don't know what they will do when they both are off. They don't like to travel. Hmm...I digress.
My BFF is coming over today and we are going to "play". That for us is scrapbooking, talking, discussing the house, talking, complaining about whatever, listening to some good music (well, to me it is all good, but she doesn't know some of my music--she's too young--Hmph!) and some more talking. I don't know how late she is staying--we usually have to stop at 2:30 and go home to get our kids, but it's summer! YEAH! I wonder if we will actually accomplish anything project wise--I know we will get some mental health problems solved because that is what we do for each other, but scrap book pages...we will have to see.
Doug talked to our loan officer today and we are going to close on our home loan tomorrow or Friday. Finally! Majority of work is done (the stuff we borrowed the money for--and the bathroom too) so it is only right we start paying huh? It will be a relief to know a payment amount and start paying down. The way it is now we will be 68 when we get done paying for this house. Plans are now to pay extra every month to get 2nd mortgage paid off and then put those amounts toward the loan every month. I don't want to be almost 70 and still paying for the house. I'm sure Doug will work until then (notice how I didn't say I would--although I could probably still do the church secretary job until then. ha) so no big deal, but...come to think about it...Doug's mom and dad are still both working and they are 68 and I don't see them quitting any time soon. I think it keeps them young. My parents are 10 years younger and my mom is retired. My dad talks about it non stop. I don't know what they will do when they both are off. They don't like to travel. Hmm...I digress.
My BFF is coming over today and we are going to "play". That for us is scrapbooking, talking, discussing the house, talking, complaining about whatever, listening to some good music (well, to me it is all good, but she doesn't know some of my music--she's too young--Hmph!) and some more talking. I don't know how late she is staying--we usually have to stop at 2:30 and go home to get our kids, but it's summer! YEAH! I wonder if we will actually accomplish anything project wise--I know we will get some mental health problems solved because that is what we do for each other, but scrap book pages...we will have to see.
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